Do you sometimes make excuses for yourself or your actions and know you’re lying?
Do you ever feel like the way you answer back to others isn’t really what you want to say but due to doubt, fear or negative self talk you often find yourself answering using words that are not routed deep down within your soul?
If so I wanted to say its ok!, That means you’re human and like me and it means that as long as you pay attention, stay present and take the time to answer back to people we actually can change the trajectory of our life, our future and our bodies!
Today, since most of us are a bit behind due to either watching the Super Bowl or not doing what we said we were supposed to last night I wanted to share with you 8 ways you can use the Power of language & self-talk to be successful as many of us including myself often find
#1 – I SHOULD
When you say you “I should” do something, you are not fully engaged. It’s a very passive voice and it’s like you have given the power away that you feel you should have but can’t do. These words are far from motivating and as your coach I want to ensure I call you out on the use of these words.
Clients that use the term “I should” a lot display a red flag and often begin to passively go through the motions.
When I personally say “I should” I know whatever I’m talking about wont happen because there is not date or deadline behind it. There is no commitment and for that reason… I hate the words “I should”!
#2 – I CANT
You are probably right. If you say you can’t, you probably really can’t. Each time your brain searches for the right word to use to describe how you feel the minute it locates the file named “I Can’t”, it actually saves the answer in its memory bank in case it needs to grab it for future use. It’s a horrible word that silently and quietly builds momentum to ultimately allow your subconscious to believe this and be readily available for the host (you) to use whoever things get scary, challenging or unknown.
Having gone through 5 lockdowns and having lost so much of what was once a very fine-tuned business due to covid was and continues to be hard. I have no room for “I can’t” Those words aren’t able to be in my vocabulary so what if you change your language to “What can I do?” The possibilities are endless.
#3 – I’ll TRY
This reminds me of Yoda in the movie Star Wars. He said, “Do, or do not. There is no try.” “Try” gives you an out, it lacks intention and confidence. It sows doubt in your mind. When you say to someone “I’ll Try” it’s telling them and yourself that you would rather give someone a floating answer because you’re not sure enough to decide. What you should be saying is “No matter how hard this or it will get…I will continue to try harder and never give up”, that shows conviction and that you do have the confidence but possibly not the answer.
I always believe in “I’ll Try”. Even if I don’t know the answer the best possible next case scenario is to try to do something hard.
#4 – I COULD
Possibilities open up when you use the word “I could”. You’re not stuck in someone else’s ideas. When I say “I could change my behaviour” I consider it an option. I haven’t really stepped into the world of action and power but I am considering it. The words “I could” tell your subconscious that it can be possible (with action), I may be able to compete or attempt something and I just have to take action.
For that I love I could and feel that we should all say I could to never fear the possibility of trying.
#5 – I WANT
A mindset shift occurs when “I want” shows up. There is more of you in this word. The “should’s”, “ought’s” and “maybes” are gone when you say I want because your personal desire is coming out and commitment increases. While this is a step in the right direction, we can still get stuck in inaction when we stay at “want”: “I want to wake up earlier”, “I want to improve my program”, “I want to book more calls”.
So in order to not get stuck in inactivity you need to say “I want…. And Im willing to give up …This will help add value to what you want and show what your willing to lose to get it.
#6 – I WILL
I love “I will”! What will you start doing? When your “I will” shows up, your power shows up. Your will alone determines what you do next. When we say “I will” we are consciously telling our peers, coaches, competitors that you have mentally committed and will now provide a time and date for what you will be doing.
I’ve always believed in “I will” and the next words are try. I will try is another way of saying even if I don’t know I will attempt.
#7 – I CHOOSE
“I Choose” is one of my favorite words. Choice is power and you always have a choice. You chose confidence. You choose action. You choose expansion. You choose love. You choose success. You choose investment. You choose your attitude. You choose joy. You choose gratitude. I choose to show up as a leader and be authentic. Choice comes from a power paradigm. Choice radiates commitment. It proves that you are NOT a victim of your situation or environment (I’m not talking about tragic and abusive events).
So next time your dealt with a challenging situation before you come to a conclusion begin with “I choose” not to be afraid, scared or overwhelmed and I Choose to not give up!
#8- – I AM
Maybe the most powerful set of words you can ever say. “I am powerful”. “I am pursuing my goals and dreams”. “I am a finisher.” “I am a man/woman of my word.” “I am strong.” “I am grateful.” “I am here on earth to give.”
It is so powerful that it can also destroy. “I am a failure” or “I am not good enough” or “I am not ready” or “I am not good at making content” or “I am so stressed out”.
Positive “I am” statements will build you and negative “I am” statements will break you. When you reframe your identity as, “I am a winner” you will show up differently and committed with the belief in what is possible with consistent action.
Listen to words you say, listen to whether or not you say them a lot, listen to whether you catch yourself saying the words that lead to doubt, fear or overwhelm. Listen to the words you speak in your head and always remember that what we think, then say , we believe and often make our identify.
I believe everyone has the ability, the capability and the desire to achieve any goal they set for themselves but the negative self talk that we also do can break down, poison and cripple that way we response, react or conduct ourselves so please be mindful of what you think and then say!
Challenge yourself on where the powerless language shows up and make a commitment to using powerful language. You will see the change.
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